Guilt is not on the Christmas Wish List

By Wellness Consultant Emma Sanelli

Christmas is a time of year that many people look forward to. A time for us to take a break from the daily routine and spend some time with our loved ones. These times can bring a lot of psychological benefits. Feelings of joy, a sense of belonging and often the nostalgia of traditions and food can be a fulfilling experience for many. 

However, for many, it can also be a challenging time for a number of reasons. One, being the anxiety and feelings of guilt around exercise and the inclusion of more “indulgent” foods. For some, anxiety can be brought on by a change in one’s day to day, movement and eating routine. As a result, many of us can develop negative thoughts about ourselves and our body image, avoid certain social occasions or engage in compensation behaviours such as increased exercise. So how do we manage these feelings of guilt and ensure that they do not impact or affect our mood? How do we ensure that we stay present during events and do not let our thoughts around food and exercise take up too much space?

1. Maintain as much of your routine as possible 

Although a bigger Christmas lunch or dinner is often a tradition, it does not mean you have to adhere to this, particularly if it is triggering for you. You are able to maintain your regular eating schedule and training schedule to the best of your ability. You may want to ensure that you are continuing to eat a good breakfast and a regular portion size for your lunch and dinner. You may also want to look at focusing on your regular training frequency and being aware of any extra sessions you may want to include.

2. Be aware of things that trigger your guilt 

Take the time to reflect on what particular situations around Christmas time trigger these 

emotions of guilt. Understanding if particular meals times, foods or changes trigger the anxiety. A simple way of approaching the reflection is being mindful of any rules that your mind places on the day. This may be your mind telling you to have a small or no breakfast due to a Christmas lunch, setting a limit on the amount of food or drinks you can consume or “having to go for a run after lunch”. These rules are often along the lines of “I should…”. 

3. Is possible, address the guilt or the behaviour associated with it

We have a couple of options when we are looking at working with these emotions. We 

can challenge it, we may involve not going for the run that our brain is telling us we need. Alternatively, we can acknowledge the thought and do some emotional or physiological regulation and acceptance. If you feel able to challenge it, you may use distraction by engaging in another activity or you may tell someone how you are feeling. You may decrease the intensity of what your mind is telling you to do e.g. go for a walk instead of a run. You may alternatively engage in “urge surfing” (simply putting off engaging in the behaviour for as long as possible). These are just some of the ways we can challenge the behaviours if this feels possible.

4. Alternatively - know that now may not be the time to challenge it

The alternative option to challenging this behaviour is emotional management and 

acceptance. Often, we need some emotional stability and regulation to be able to safely challenge these behaviors. During the Christmas period, things are pretty busy, so simply acknowledging what is present, and engaging in some emotional management and acceptance may be more beneficial. This may mean meeting it with an affirmation such as “Guilt does not require action or compensation” or “I am noticing I am feeling overwhelmed”. Emotional regulation will be different for all, but separating yourself from the situation, doing some grounding or breathing exercises may help to downregulate. 

5. Focus on being present

There are many ways for us to be mindful. It may be doing some mindful eating when 

consuming your meal e.g. noting all of the textures and flavours. It may be taking a 

moment to sit outside and notice the things that you can smell, see, hear and feel. It may be bringing yourself back into what is happening around you, becoming completely engaged in a conversation with someone near you. It may be taking a moment to reflect on the things you have enjoyed about the day and the food that you have enjoyed. 

Ultimately, Christmas can be challenging just as much as it can be joyous. Finding out more about what may be triggering any anxious or overwhelming thoughts for you and working with a professional to address these is very important. If you are finding this time of year to be particularly challenging for you, reach out to our wellness consultant Emma at emma@scienceoffitness.com.au.